The Morning Blend
Welcome
Complete Media Kit
Quote of the day: “I throw the ball harder than Nolan Ryan. It just doesn’t get there as fast.” — Steve Busby, who pitched two no-hitters during an injury-shortened career in the 1970s for the Kansas City Royals.
Our friends over at the Habitat for Humanity ReStore tell me they are having a half-price sale on most items Thursday through Saturday at both of their locations. The ReStore at 1234 E. Fry Blvd., will be open from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. and the Warehouse, 100 North Ave., will be open from 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. all three days as well.
Stop by and see the great bargains and support Habitat for Humanity’s efforts in Sierra Vista.
Here are a few more funnies from V.J. Plummer via her friend (and mine) Melba Vickery.
|
|
Teacher: Glenn, how do you spell “crocodile?”
John “K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L”
Teacher: No, that’s wrong.
John: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
Teacher: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
Donald: H I J K L M N O.
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Donald: Yesterday you said it’s H to O.
Teacher: Milton, give me a sentence starting with “I.”
Milton: I is...
Teacher: No, wait, Milton, always say, “I am.”
Milton: All right. “I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.”
Teacher: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Harold: A teacher!
A year ago in May, my daughter Julia stage managed a production of a “Cole” musical for the Stagebrush Theatre in Scottsdale. While it was a lot of work for her, it was quite an entertaining show for the audience.
I bring this up because the Cochise College’s Summer Revue is titled, “Red, Hot & Cole”. The show celebrates the life of Cole Porter, one of America’s most prolific and enduring songwriters.
“Anything Goes”, “I Get a Kick Out of You” and “Begin the Beguine” are among just a few of the lasting tunes that are featured.
The college’s production wraps up its run at the Buena Performing Arts Center with shows at 7:30 p.m. on Friday and Saturday. Tickets will be on sale at the box office both nights for $15 each.
Seems a guy was sitting in the Tucson Airport and he noticed a really beautiful woman sitting next to him. He thought to himself, “Wow! She’s so gorgeous; she must be a flight attendant. But which airline does she work for?”
Hoping to engage in some friendly conversation, he leaned forward and uttered the Delta slogan, “Love to fly and it shows?”
She gave him a blank, confused stare. He thought to himself, “Darn. She doesn’t work for Delta.”
A moment later, another slogan popped into his head. He leaned toward her again, “Something special in the air?”
She gave him the same confused look.
He mentally kicked himself and scratched American Airlines off the list. Next he tried United Airlines’ “Life is a journey, travel it well.”
This time, the woman turned to him and barked, “What the hell do you want?”
The man smiled, slumped back in his chair, and said, “Ahhh, Northwest!”
With 60 full-time and 15 part-time people at the Herald/Review, it takes a lot of hard work and effort to create the “daily miracle” of a newspaper.
Many of our employees labor behind the scenes doing exceptional work that is transparent to all but a handful of our readers.
One of those people is Betty LaMere. She works in the packaging and inserting department where the many inserts from our national advertisers are packaged with the newspaper. Betty’s been with us for nearly 10 years, quietly and efficiently doing her job. When she started in 1997, we were an afternoon newspaper and the bulk of the inserting work was done during the afternoon. She stayed with us when we went to inserting and packaging the newspaper late at night and seven days a week. She’s gone with the flow as we built a new facility and bought a new inserting machine.
For several reasons, Betty recently told us she was ready to quit, and she has plans to go live with family members.
We’re sorry to see her leave. During her 10 years with us, she’s been a great person and employee and we wish her all the best.
Department of useless, yet interesting, information … Stress may be good for people. Rockefeller University scientists have determined that an acute episode of stress boosts immunity, offering better protection against infection. The fact that people don’t usually catch a cold until a crisis is over may be due to the fact that humans have acute elevations in stress hormones, thus elevating the body’s immune response.
PHIL VEGA is publisher of the Sierra Vista Herald/Bisbee Daily Review. He can be reached at 458-9440, Ext. 605.
